When both hands want to go their way
I guess this isn't the "rightest" thing to do, blogging in the staff computing lab, but...
Here I am, seated comfortably. Reading the case I downloaded yesterday evening.
After a whole semester on planning, training and plain waiting, it has finally come down to this.
The mock case competition is coming this Wednesday.
Even though I may not be selected eventually, I am still worried.
Worried that I may be selected, yes.
I am a little confused. Why would I worry, if I DO get selected eventually? Isn't that a good thing?
Preparing for the case competition has done a lot of good for me. Going for the competition proper will no doubt put me in a better position yet, no matter the outcome of the competition.
But I can't help it, I feel like a pretender all along. Even though everyone says I've outperformed the expectations placed onto a freshmen. Even though I continue to suprise fellow students and Professors in the club when I introduce myself as a year 1.
I can feel it, the limitations are there. I can try my best to read, to study, to observe and to absorb and create, but there is just no way for a year 1 to compete on fair grounds with the older, more senior students.
Not that I am intimidated. I just think that the school will have a better chance if they send the year 2s and 3s. I may be prepared, but that may not be good enough.
Maybe I am too hard on myself.
Maybe I won't be selected at all.
In the worst case senario (that I get selected), I'll just have to bite tight tight on the root of my teeth (direct chinese translation) and get on with things like I've always done.
On the honest side of the argument. I know I'll just love to go and have lots of fun.
Someone once told me I was sick, I couldn't agree more.
I love it when the pressure gets too much to take. Low pressure = No pleasure!
"Apples, peaches, and oranges-each, in its own way, is unique and valuable. The same is true of people-each individual, regardless of superficial differences, is equally precious. "
I guess this isn't the "rightest" thing to do, blogging in the staff computing lab, but...
Here I am, seated comfortably. Reading the case I downloaded yesterday evening.
After a whole semester on planning, training and plain waiting, it has finally come down to this.
The mock case competition is coming this Wednesday.
Even though I may not be selected eventually, I am still worried.
Worried that I may be selected, yes.
I am a little confused. Why would I worry, if I DO get selected eventually? Isn't that a good thing?
Preparing for the case competition has done a lot of good for me. Going for the competition proper will no doubt put me in a better position yet, no matter the outcome of the competition.
But I can't help it, I feel like a pretender all along. Even though everyone says I've outperformed the expectations placed onto a freshmen. Even though I continue to suprise fellow students and Professors in the club when I introduce myself as a year 1.
I can feel it, the limitations are there. I can try my best to read, to study, to observe and to absorb and create, but there is just no way for a year 1 to compete on fair grounds with the older, more senior students.
Not that I am intimidated. I just think that the school will have a better chance if they send the year 2s and 3s. I may be prepared, but that may not be good enough.
Maybe I am too hard on myself.
Maybe I won't be selected at all.
In the worst case senario (that I get selected), I'll just have to bite tight tight on the root of my teeth (direct chinese translation) and get on with things like I've always done.
On the honest side of the argument. I know I'll just love to go and have lots of fun.
Someone once told me I was sick, I couldn't agree more.
I love it when the pressure gets too much to take. Low pressure = No pleasure!
"Apples, peaches, and oranges-each, in its own way, is unique and valuable. The same is true of people-each individual, regardless of superficial differences, is equally precious. "
posted by CluelessTrader | 1:12 AM
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